Aunt Flo is visiting!!

I remember when I was around 10 or so my mom said "one day you will be a woman" then handed me a christian book on how a man and a woman after they are married have kids. Then put a HUGE box of pads into the closet (really the box had 3 pads in it diapers are smaller then those things were) and went on with life. Ummm Hello the book never said that I would start developing things that the boys love and hurts your back trying to hold up with a rubber band. Nothing about that now your body will hold onto every fat cell to create a "curvy" woman figure. It didn't come with black pants that were about 5 sizes bigger to accomodate the pads, not show any "accidents" or the 10pds of "water" weight you put on. And I know for a fact it said nothing about the fact that this will go on for 40 years until one day you start sweating like you stuck your head in the oven, and everyone in the world hides from you incase you attack. I know if I saw this I would have given the book back to my mom said take it all out now I will just babysit other peoples kids!




I know your thinking ok but why are you complaining now you have only done this for about 23 years you have a few more to go. Because I realized that my husband is a turkey 3 weeks out of the month! And it is MY fault. Or more like the "gift" I was given as a woman. My husband comes up to me tonight and gives me a hug after I yell at him for something stupid that I have yelled at him a hundred times before and says "it is ok, did you have a bad day, you seem kind of edgy so I tried to stay out of your way"???? And those will be the words printed on his tombstone! I look at him and say " ok I know I am going to "start" in the next month or so but that has nothing to do with you not taking the trash out,not feeding the dogs, or cleaning the dead fish out of the tank!" !! (the people and situations are all fictional in this story the fish is sleeping) I feel guilty, obviously I would not be upset if my hormones were not going up and down like a rollercoaster that obviously my whole family is stuck on riding and I have proof because every picture I take of them has them screaming with their hands in the air!



CRAP what was the point of this story? Oh yeah becoming a woman should not be shown in cartoon people holding hands walking with with woodland creatures surrounding them. But with a man holding his hands up saying that he only does things wrong once a month and he still loves us as he rolls his eyes. Make sure you tell your daughters the whole truth every scary detail using the rollarcoaster scared family as examples. Then put in the closet a tub of frosting, salty chips and stretchy shorts and a "do not disturb till people stop making me mad" sign and know you are the best mom in the whole world! Now who took my CAKE?